After a number of years when the fire to play in the early Spring was at best banked, it is galling to find that my desire to get started this year is stymied by illness. Flu then an inflammation means I have been restricted to hitting half wedges in the garden so far.
A lot of my friends have told me that my golfing career is beginning to look like a mirror image of Tiger Woods. On reflection they are correct.
Neither of us has won a Major for over 6 years and our perfect swings are presently blighted by glute and other problems. My glute issue is particularly severe. I need to get off it and play again!!
In the forced interregnum I have been trying to answer some difficult philosophical questions to keep sane.
1- Will Mario Balotelli ever do something on a football field which would suggest he is worth even 10% of the money various ‘great’ managers have spunked on him?
2- Has there been an episode of Masterchef in which the most commonly used word by the judges is not ‘Yummy’?
3- If you multiply the number of violent deaths in Game of Thrones by the number of times a UK politician answers a question directly or says ‘actually I don’t know’ is the outcome always zero?
It will be a huge relief to escape from this philosophising and get back to the much simpler pleasures of three putting again.
As General MacArthur famously said after double bogeying the last hole in the Philippines Open to lose it to an unranked Japanese ‘I shall return’.