Christopher Brookmyre is one of my favourite authors. He combines inventiveness, humour and the psyche of the West of Scotland into great story lines. In his first novel ‘Quite Ugly One Morning’ the hero wakes after a night on the bevy unable to work out:-
A where exactly he is
B what happened the night before
C where the incredibly bad smell is coming from
In his attempt to solve the last question he stumbles into a murder scene, spots the hideously mutilated body of the victim and becomes the Police’s first suspect in the crime he later solves.
I have a double up from the book on Saturday morning. Luckily A and B!!!
It’s a long time since I felt as bad after a nights drinking. I manage to get up and Alex is kind enough to make me tea and toast which I am proud to be able to keep down. Jim rises in the same state. The collective moaning and head shaking (gentle head shaking) drives Alex out leaving us to contemplate another days golf (please no and it’s raining heavily) and a double stag at night to which my boys are going. I was invited but showed some foresight by declining.
Jim retires back to bed leaving me to watch a rerun of Sergio Garcia’s last nine holes in the second round at the Bridgestone Invitational. I am dozing through bits of it and come to the conclusion it must be a dream. He plays the back nine in 27!!! Impossible. Finishes with 7 birdies from 12 onwards. I think about my own second nine. Why? He was back in 8 under. I was 6 over. 14 shot difference! He had 10 putts. I had 20. Exactly double. Again impossible. I reject the notion that poor putting is holding back my quest for improvement. Don’t know why. Sergio was one of the worst putters on the tour. He has turned it round. Why can’t I? Too hard to answer so I go back to sleep.
The golf match pencilled in for the afternoon – The battle of the Stags – is cancelled. Thank god I think but when I get to the course to pick up my car and have lunch the weather brightens and I suggest playing 9 holes. The boys reject my proposal. I really am infatuated with the game again!!